The SNCO plays a critical role in the Marine Corps by using their many years of experience to train and inspire confidence into junior officers to ensure they grow into competent leaders in the future. The Marine Corps will continue to succeed on and off the battlefield if the relationship between junior officers and SNCOs is continuously developed through the passing of knowledge and valuable advice. The impact a SNCO will have on a junior officer is everlasting, and they will utilize the skills learned throughout their entire career.
Instructor comments:

It all came down to your thesis not being properly written which drove your entire paper down a spiral.
Your paragraphs had the points needed to make a solid thesis but it was not written as such. Please see my comments in your paper and make the proper adjustments. Your conclusion lacked as well. This is a failed assignment, you have until 0800 on Monday to remediate at which time you can receive a maximum score of 80%. If you choose to not remediate this will be your final score. Please let me know how I can help.